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What is sexual abuse?
A sexual abuse is very forced (verbal, psychological or visual) or any physical contact, by which a person makes use of a child for a sexual stimulation.
The rape, the incest, the indecent assaults are prohibited by the law (articles 331 and 333 of the Penal code). The sorrow is worsened when it is about a minor (children of less than 15 years) or when the attacker is ascending or a person having authority on the child. It can go up to 20 years of prison.
Some figures
1 girl out of 25 and 1 boy out of 33 state to have undergone a rape or a incest,
1 girl out of 8 and 1 boy out of 10 are victims of sexual abuses before the 18 years age,
1 attacker out of 4 is a family member,
1 attacker out of 2 is a friend or a knowledge of the family,
8 times out of 10, L " child are victim of repeated sexual abuses,
97% of the impostors are men.
The children have, in general, between 4 and 11 years, 22% less than 6 years.
The sexual abuse of a child generally takes place with the centre even of the family, by a relative, a beautiful-parent, a brother or a sister, the father-in-law or the other familiar ones, or apart from the family, for example by a friend, a neighbour, a person in load of the child, a professor or an unknown attacker. The aggression generally takes place in places considered as sure (the house, the school, family meeting).
It is not always a physically violent act: the promises and the threats are used, the secrecy is often required. At all events, when a sexual abuse was perpetrated, the child develops psychological disorders which appear at the time, with adolescence or even at the adulthood.
No child is psychologically prepared to face repeated sexual stimulations. Even a child of 2 or 3 years which cannot know that this sexual activity “it is badly”, will develop problems resulting from his incapacity to face this on stimulation.
Child the 5 year old or more who knows the impostor and who is attached there, finds himself taken with the trap between the affection and the honesty which it tests for this person and the direction that it has that this sexual activity is really not good. If the child tries to escape the sexual relationship, the impostor can threaten the child of violence or abandonment. When the sexual abuse takes place in the family, the child can fear anger, the jealousy, or the shame of other members of his family or to be afraid which its family bursts if the secrecy is revealed.
The impostors are often close relations with whom the child maintains an emotional relation. So it will not be able to say “not”. He does not know his own limits yet.
A child victim the prolonged sexual abuse in general develops a bad regard of itself, the feeling to be “good with nothing” and an abnormal design sexuality. The child can fold up himself on itself, it can prove to be unable to grant his confidence to the adults and possibly, it will become suicidal. It presents, often, a psychological shock resulting in anxiety, a depressive state, nightmares… This behaviour requires psychotherapy.
Certain children who were deceived sexually, have evil to establish relations with others, except on the sexual level. Certain sexually deceived children become at the adulthood, themselves of the impostors or the male prostitutes or the people with serious problems.
With which signs does one see that a child is or was victim of sexual violence?
As the majority of the children receive from their attacker the instruction not to reveal their secrecy, the indices do not jump to the eyes.
Shown a particular vigilance if :
- the child is afraid of a person or a place in particular,
- that it makes tormented drawings,
- if its behaviour or its school results change brutally,
- if it carries an unusual interest or an avoidance of all that is of sexual nature,
- if it has problems of sleep, nightmares,
- damping its bed or known as that it cannot sleep,
- a depression or a social and family withdrawal,
- a tempting character,
- if it conviction that its body dirty or is damaged,
- a refusal to go to school, a problem of delinquency,
- a secret character,
- the existence of topics of sexual assault in the drawings, the plays, imaginations,
- an unusual aggressiveness,
- a suicidal behaviour.
Those which misuse the children sexually can make that the child is extremely afraid to say it and it is only when one particular strain was carried out so that the child feels safe that he will say it freely.
If you have only simple suspicions, try to make speak the child. Say to him that nobody will make him evil if it reveals a secret.
You must insist on the fact that what arrived is not its fault.
There exist some preventive measures which the parents can use :
To say to the child “if somebody tries to touch your body or does you things who makes you feel you funny, known as NOT with this person”.
He to also say that it has the right to refuse a proposal of an adult even if it knows it and that it is not impolite to refuse to accompany an adult some share.
To learn with the child that the respect due to the adults and the respect of the authority do not mean blind obedience.
The professional evaluation and the treatment as early as possible of the sexually deceived child and his family are best the way of avoiding as the newborn develops serious problems with the adulthood. The psychiatrist of child and adolescent assistance the child to find the regard of itself and reduces the feelings of guilt related to the abuse. He helps the family members to include/understand how to assist the child so that he exceeds this traumatism and, if the impostor, it is a family member will work in the direction it or to restore it in a healthy role in this family.
Why a victim goes through so much difficulty to speak about what he/she underwent ?
She can spend much time to realize that she was deceived. It is often a depression which will encourage it to agree to speak about it. She feels guilty and she tries to forget the abuse. She has shame. The victim allots a share of responsibility then to be deceived it comes from there to be scorned.
HOW TO ANSWER the Sexual abuse Of a CHILD
When a child called to an adult that he or she was deceived (E) sexually, the adult can feel badly and not to know what to say or what to make. This whole of “measures to be taken” was conceived in order to be able to bring an answer to the children who were deceived sexually. |
What to say to the child
If a child expresses even in a vague way that a sexual abuse took place, encourage it to speak about it freely and reassure it.
Said to him that it is not responsible and that it is the attacker which is not well in its head.
Ensure to him that it is not guilty and that it is prohibited by the law and that you must say it to the police force.
Show that you included/understood and take with serious what the child is saying. Indeed, the psychiatrists of children and teenagers noted that the children who are listened succeed better than the others. The answer given at the time of the revelation of the sexual abuse plays a crucial role in the capacity which the traumatism of the sexual abuse will have the child to calm.
Reassure the child that it or it “did well what it is necessary” while speaking about it. Indeed, if he is a close relation of the impostor, the child can feel guilty to reveal this secrecy. He can be afraid of the reprisals, if the impostor threatened it if he revealed this secrecy, to make him evil or to make evil with another member of his family.
Said to the child that it or it cannot be held (E) for person in charge of the sexual abuse. The majority of the children, in their attempt to give direction to this abuse will believe that, in a way or of another, it arrived because of them or although it is a form of punishment for imaginary or real faults.
To finish, offer to the child a protection and the promise which you quickly will implement measurements in order to be capable to note that the abuse ceased.
What to do?
Announce any suspicion of sexual abuse.
If the abuse takes place inside the family, announce it to the inspector of the departmental service of the social security to childhood, with the doctor responsible for the protection service nursery schools and infantile.
If the abuse is extra-family, announce it to the police force, the public prosecutor.
Even if the majority of the allegations of sexual abuses coming from the children are true, of the untrue charges can be carried, in particular at the time of conflicts for the custody charge of the children
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When a child has to testify, certain provisions can be taken in order to return much less this experiment stressing: the use of videotapes, stops frequent, the exclusion of the spectators or the choice not to look at the defendant.
Because of their maturity and to know to them, they are the adults who must be held for persons in charge when they deceive a child. The deceived child, should never be to him regarded as person in charge. When a child speaks with somebody about sexual abuses, it is while answering him, by offering attention and support to him, during this first stage to obtain from the assistance which this child will start to restore his capacity of confidence in the adults. |
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